I've been sober for the past four months and I can say wholeheartedly that I have felt absolutely amazing without substances throwing a wrench in my mood. Alcohol and mental illness start a vicious cycle that should be avoided at all costs.
Earlier this year, on August 19th, I sat on a barstool in my apartment with a towel wrapped around my waist and another draped over my shoulders. Water from my hair dripping down my face and hands trembling, I slowly uncapped the handle of rum and bottle of sleeping pills that I had set down in front of me. As I cried silently into my worn t-shirt, I felt the overwhelming weight of the world crashing down on me once again: the disappointment, the fear and helplessness, the feelings of worthlessness, the feeling of losing everything, all of it an insurmountable tsunami that had inevitably hit me again and again before.
Several years ago, a friend of mine crossed paths with a man who was paralyzed from the neck down, the result of an attempted suicide from a highway overpass. In their brief conversation, the man told his story about how and why he decided to end his life following an unfortunate breakup, one that had… Continue reading Relativity of Pain